Recicember Day 5: Red Velvet Cupcakes

Red Velvet cake is quite delicious, but I can honestly say I’ve only made one once before, ever. This second attempt uses an entirely different recipe because I can’t remember where I found the first one.

Oh, and I’ll be making them into cupcakes too.

So who is the lucky recipe writer today? None other than your favourite Turkey Twizzler, Jamie Oliver!

I do quite a bit of flip-flopping when it comes to liking Jamie Oliver. I see what he was doing with the Twizzler thing, and I like the fact that he’s trying to get people to eat better. But he often refers to things like “a cheap joint of meat for £30″…£30 isn’t cheap for a joint. I don’t know where he’s shopping, but he should try Aldi. I’m just saying, OK?

Anyhoodle, on to the recipe. I had to make a quick trip out Christmas shopping this morning, so decided I would pick up any bits I needed on the trip. Unfortunately, I wasn’t going near a supermarket, or even a local store…I was going near Iceland. As far as I know, Iceland don’t stock buttermilk, so I intended to make my own with vinegar and milk – so I purchased some milk from the store.

Upon returning home, I realised I also needed vegetable oil. I’m not going out again, so it’s going to be butter. Deal with it.

Right then, Jimbo! How are we starting?

Put the oven on, then sift the flour, salt, bicarb, and cocoa powder into a bowl. Weighed it all out perfectly. Done!

Next, get another bowl…hang on. Sift? I was paying that much attention to the weighing, I forgot to sift it. I can handle a lumpy cake, this will be fine.


“Oil” and sugar, wallop it in the mixer. Add eggs, and red food colouring. Why does every recipe I attempt end up looking like a crime scene? It’s OK, because next we add a cup of coffee to the milk with vinegar in it.

Can I make a recommendation? However appealing it looks, don’t taste the coffee-with-milk-and-vinegar-in-it. It tastes of coffee and vinegar. What did you think it would taste of?

So then according to the recipe, we put half of that in, a third of the other, half of what’s left, half of the first one, the rest of the other, then whatever else we can find that’s left over, and the fold a liquid as if it were a bedsheet. I can see the appeal of a £30 joint now.

Put it in the tins and lob it in the oven – or rather, put it in the cake cases and chuck it in.

...and still got half a bucket left
…and still got half a bucket left

And now, the moment of realisation. Monsieur Oliver divides his cake mix into three cake tins. What does this mean? There’s a heck of a lot of cake here. Wish I’d seen the picture of the three tins before I started…hmm.

So let’s make 15 of them in muffin cases. Done!

That used about half of the mix…so let’s make 12 more because I don’t have two large trays to hand. OK…there’s still some left over. I’m going to be stood by this oven all day…

Right! Everything has baked. Now on to the frosting!

You know that thing you do, when you make a shopping list, and then remember something else that needs to go on it? And then you go shopping having forgotten to put the thing on the list, but it’s OK because you’ll remember? And I was only buying milk so I didn’t need a list?

Hmm. Should have put cream cheese on the list. Never fear! We will make do with butter and icing sugar!

Except I just used the last of the butter in the cake. I’m still not going out again.

What have we got?

Cream. I can use cream.

Bowl. Cream. Icing sugar. Wallop with the mixer. Lift the top of the cakes with a spoon, shove in the icing cream sugar (is this fresh cream frosting? Or just whipped cream?) and then replace the lid. Boom! Red Velvet cupcakes!

TL;DR: Seems like I have none of the stuff to make red velvet cake. Made it anyway. I like turkey twizzlers.


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