Recicember 2021 Day 7: Seedy Beady Eyes

I remember going on holiday once with my family (obv we went more than once but I’m referring to one particular incident) and we were happily walking along a street when my dad attempted to tell a joke. It got lost along the way and mixed up with another joke, but the punchline always remained with me.

The alternative joke was about a spaceman down a hole with the punchline, “Who’s that Dan Dare? (down there)”, but the joke we were aiming for was something about crabs. It seemed to be pronounced as individual letters – like O I C for “oh I see”, but again appears to have been lost in translation. It went like this:

D’s R crbs. (These are crabs)

R Day? (Are they?)

S. C D B D I’s. (Yes. See the beady eyes!)

So, here we are, with today’s recipe with assistance from my glamourous assistant, Tracy – Seed Crackers. Seedy beady eyes!

The original recipe can be found here:


It starts off just how I like it – chuck everything a bowl, mix it up, and leave it alone for a bit.

Nice! Next you need a baking tray or sheet, lined with greaseproof paper. Once the stuff has gone solid, lob it on the paper and put another bit on top. Roll it out flat.

Next, the flat seedy beady eyes need scoring into squares before they go into the oven. You must keep the extra bit of paper, because you’re gonna flip this half way through. Not like a pancake, more like a…seedy beady thing.

Here’s a word from our Masterchef, Tracy:

I have added garlic, cumin, chilli, and Worcester sauce, and a beef Oxo cube – you can use whatever spices you choose, and to make it vegan just use a vegetable stock cube. For a sweet (rather than a savoury) version don’t add a stock cube but use a teaspoon of honey (or agave syrup for vegan) and try adding cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, brown sugar…whatever you fancy really…just take the basic seed recipe and make it work for you!

Thanks, Tracy! She’s my wife, and she humoured me by taking photos while she was cooking. Well done wife!

The finished product was indeed tasty, and is super good with cheese on. Just saying.

TL;DR: Dese are crankers, dese are. R dey? S. Seedy beady eyes.