Recicember 2021 Day 5 – Vegan Spicy Bean Chilli

Today’s Recicember is brought to you by…my wife, Tracy! Neither of us are vegan, but she’s less keen on meat than I am, so here’s her recipe for vegan spicy bean chilli.

I’ll tell you exactly how she told me she made it with no embellishments at all. Honest. Look at these ingredients!


  • 1 medium onion
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • Stock cube made up in 300ml of water
  • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • 1 teaspoon mixed herbs
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon coriander (cilantro if you’re watching in US English)
  • 2 courgettes (zucchini, as above…) or 3 carrots or a combo thereof
  • 2 tins of beans, prefeably mixed beans and kidney beans
  • 1 tin of chopped tomatoes
  • 1 tablespoon of tomato puree
  • 1 heaped teaspoon of chipotle paste


First things first – see that device with the green handle at the top left? That’s a deadly “multichopper” that has tasted blood at least once. It’s got blades set up like a helicopter, and you have to be REALLY careful when washing it. It looks like this:

It’s operated by pushing the handle down to make the blades rotate. I think I saw something like it in a horror movie once, but it’s really good for chopping onions and other vegetables.

Speaking of which, we start off by putting onions and garlic in the deadly velocichopper and rotating the wheel of death until they are F-I-N-E fine.

After checking fingers, I can confirm the appropriate number of digits remain. You’ll see them in the pictures in a minute. Make 300ml of stock in a bowl or jug or a mug or something. Bung some oil in a pan and gently fry the chopped onions and garlic until soft.

Add a teaspoon each of paprika, mixed herbs, cumin, and coriander. Coat the onions with this mix, and cook for another minute. Wife’s note: DO NOT LET THEM BURN.

Empty the beans into a colander and rinse. Add them to the onion pan along with stock, the tin of tomatoes and grated courgette – that’s a zucchini if you’re American, and a cucumber-gone-wrong if you’re not. Stir it like a…thing you stir.

Add the tomato puree and chipotle paste, and stir it up some more.

Cover the pan and let it cook for about an hour until it has a thick rich consistency. Serve it with some tortilla chips and homemade houmous (hummus if you prefer, but never a Hummer because that’s too big) and enjoy your delightful vegan spicy bean chilli!

TL;DR: Wife has 10 fingers so no meat in this vegan spicefest.