Recicember 2021 Day 3 – Bakewell Muffins

Now, long-time viewers may recall my Chocolate Orange Muffins debacle from 2016. Delightful little cakes, but open to interpretation.

So here’s what I did – I took my love for putting random objects in small cakes (a toenail in your cupcake, sir?) and decided to create FRANKENSTEIN’S PUDDING – I give you, the Bakewell Muffin!

It’s based on the concept of a Bakewell Tart, which is flavoured with almonds and cherry. Could be cyanide, you never know, because it has the same flavour profile.

Interestingly, if you go to the town of Bakewell and ask for a tart in a shop, they aren’t very happy about it. Apparently, Bakewell does “puddings” and Mr Kipling does tarts. I say that what he gets up to in his own time is his business, but nonetheless, let’s antagonize the town of Bakewell a little further by desecrating their most popular export.

Rather than follow some random recipe on the internet, I decided to use my football cake recipe – 4442. It’s like a football (soccer) formation if you had too many players on the pitch.

That means you need 4oz self-raising flour, 4oz butter, 4oz sugar, and 2 eggs. For the purpose of making muffins, go large – I did half as much again, so 6663. It’s the NUMBER OF THE CAKE…and a third.

Instead of actual butter, I used ASDA’s best spreadable butter substitute, which just makes it a little easier to mix. I also added in almond flavouring and glace cherries.

Method

  • Chuck it all in a bowl except the cherries. You need about a teaspoon of almond flavouring. Mix it up.
  • Cut around 20 cherries into halves or quarters, lob them in the mix, wallop it around a bit more.
  • Decant into muffin cases. This should make about 12 muffins, 14 if you’re lucky/stingy with the mix.
  • Put it in an oven at about 180C for around 10-15 minutes – if you can stick a knife in one and it comes out clean, it’s done.
  • Remove from oven, put ’em somewhere to cool.
  • When cool, mix a bit of icing sugar with some water and dribble it all over the top. I didn’t check the cupboard before I started and therefore coverage is SPARSE. Do what you can with what you have.
  • Bung half a cherry on t’top.

That’s it. Bakewell muffins. Stick ’em in your gob with a warm (not hot) cup of tea.

TL;DR: Annoy and confuse people in Bakewell by insisting on ordering Bakewell muffins. You know it makes sense.

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